I’m sure nobody needs me to say what a year it has been. We all know 2020 has been quite a year. However crazy 2020 may have been for you, I hope there were at least some sparks of joy spurted throughout that helped you press onward to get you to today.
But with a new year comes a natural season of reflection for most people. Last year, beginning a new decade, I spent a lot of time reflecting over the 2010s decade. In our efforts to reflect, we should also start looking forward, using those reflections to help us see and enjoy a better today and tomorrow.
While I went home to Ragley, LA for Christmas last week, I came across something. I always seem to stumble across something I have from my past when I return home, certain mile markers scattered throughout my life growing up. This past Christmas was no different. I was looking for a few things to bring back with me to Nashville, as I do every time I go home as I continue to make my transition to living in Tennessee. This time, I found something that got me thinking about God’s plan for my life.
Pictured is a vision jar and it is what I stumbled across this last trip to my hometown. I made this vision jar back in the summer of 2012 when I lived in Abilene, TX to participate in a Discipleship Training School for the summer at a growing church. This vision jar was one of the very first things we, the students, did. We were told to spend some time praying and ask the Lord for a goal He wanted for us. After spending time in prayer, we were told to write down on a mason jar what our goal was. I simply wrote, “Let God consume my life. I will grow in my identity as a son and man of God. I will grow in the gifts I have been given and seek what God wants me to do with my life.”
After writing our goals down, the pastor in charge told us the different elements of the vision jar. The first thing we were given were some rocks, not huge, but big enough to write on and take up space. On these rocks we were to write foundational people, events, things, and ideals we hold true to that we give our time to. So family, friends, beliefs, education, etc. Once we were done writing those, we placed them in the jar. We were to take note that the rocks take up space in the jar, but there is still a lot of space left. We then were told to pour sand in our jars until it reached the top of the rocks. The sand represents the things of daily life: routines, events, and different ups and downs of life brought on by time. These things fill in the gaps from the rocks, making the jar fuller. The last thing we were to do was fill the rest of the jar to the very top with water and seal it. The water represents the Holy Spirit. It fills even the space between the grains of sand and occupies all the remaining space in the jar. This is to serve as a reminder that God is in everything. He is in every part of our lives and wants to fill up your life.
I kept this jar for all these years, almost forgotten, stored up with many other things in the room I grew up in. When I stumbled across is this past Christmas, I decided to take it back to Nashville with me. The goal I wrote down stirred something in me. That goal seemed simple enough. I didn’t have very specific goals or points in that season of life. Just simply, “Let God consume my life.”
I’ve been reflecting on that season of life. That was the summer I was called into ministry. My calling was clear and I think it was made so clear to me because when I wrote down that goal, I decided to completely surrender everything in my life to God. There are many things we hold on for dear life and not want to give to God. At that point in my life, it was my future, my relationship with a girlfriend, struggles I was combating in my mind. But I decided to loosen my grip, release them, and offer them up to God. I wanted God to consume me: my thoughts, my actions, my life. And God has taken me on an adventurous journey since then, doing things I never would have imagined doing, going to places I never dreamed of going, and seeing miracles I never thought were possible.
But life following God isn’t always the big miracles. Nor is it always rainbows and butterflies. In fact, rainbows in the sky only come when a storm rains down. And life will rain down on each of us at times in different seasons. You can see that in the jar I talked about as well. The jar looks nice, calm, and peaceful. However, all it takes is a little disturbance, or sometimes a violent shake, and the waters in the jar are stirred. All you can see is a cloud of sand and murky water. It creates what looks to be an ugly image. At times, life will bring us ugly situations. Our lives of order and control (symbolized by the sand) are stirred and bring circumstances that look like complete chaos. A storm. But in the midst of the storm, God is there. He is the one that calms the storm. Peace be still. And when God calms the storm, peace arrives. Many times, our main struggle is that we try to fight the storm ourselves. We try to take every grain of sand and place it settled in the jar, but the fact is: we can’t. Only God can. And as the Spirit moves in our lives, refining us to look more like the image of Christ, and we allow God to consume our lives, the easier it is for us to let go of the grip we have on different things and offering them up to God.
I hope if you’ve made it this far in reading this post that you are encouraged and spurred on. If not, that is okay too. I think for this blog post I needed to write things out for me. These past few years, I think I’ve lost sight of that vision I wrote on that jar nearly 9 years ago. I’ve been gripping things in my life, such as education, work, and many other things. I’ve been trying to control and do all these things to advance my career, all for the sake of fulfilling my calling. And all of these things aren’t bad, but lately my motives have been more selfish than for the sake of growing closer to God and letting Him consume my life. I’ve loved my time at seminary and have learned many wonderful things allowing me to grow closer to God and mature as a believer, but I know it has also stirred up the achiever in me that desires to excel in academics. Instead of allowing God to take control in the storms life throws at me, I’ve had a tendency to take hold myself until I fail. This passion that once reigned in my life of saying, “God consume my life,” has faded.
But seeing this jar again, that passion is stirring once more. There are a lot of unknowns this year. Globally and nationally, with the virus, election, and everything else brought on this year. There are many things out of our control and just because we are entering into a new year, yesterday’s problems don’t vanish. I also have a lot of personal unknowns I know are coming this year. While my tendency is normally stress, worry, and tackle it all myself, I pray I will give it all up to God. I pray that my vision from 2012 will stir up in me again and be fuel enough. “God consume my life.”
I’m reminded of a song, “Nothing Else” by Cody Carnes. If you haven’t heard it, you can give it a listen by clicking here. I want the lyrics to be my anthem this year going forward. With all the busyness, finishing seminary, things of life, and the unknowns I want to be able to say these lyrics to God that encompass that vision of letting God consume my life. Here are the lyrics:
I’m caught up in Your presence
I just want to sit here at Your feet
I’m caught up in this holy moment
I never wanna leave
Oh, I’m not here for blessings
Jesus, You don’t owe me anything
More than anything that You can do
I just want You
I’m sorry when I’ve just gone through the motions
I’m sorry when I just sang another song
Take me back to where we started
I open up my heart to You
I’m sorry when I’ve come with my agenda
I’m sorry when I forgot that You’re enough
Take me back to where we started
I open up my heart to You
I just want You
Nothing else, nothing else
Nothing else will do
I just want You
Nothing else, nothing else
Nothing else will do
I’m coming back to where we started
I’m coming back to where we started
When I first felt Your love
You’re all that matters, Jesus
You’re all that matters
I’m coming back to what really matters
Just Your heart
I just wanna bless Your heart, Jesus
May God bless you this new year. Keep your eyes on Him and let Him consume your life.
Heart Soul Mind & Strength 